ambiguous at best

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I dabble in writing and have an unhealthy affinity for all things Tolkien. I sing, play guitar, and like my dishes spicy. I revel in sarcasm.
I'm a bit of a lost soul, aimlessly drifting around in search of what I'm meant to do.

    Are you there, Tumblr? It’s me…

    Hello, friends. 

    It’s safe to say I am the worse blogger in the history of blogging. There has been so much going on in my life it’s hard to find the time to sleep, much less dedicate a moment to writing a little something here. A quick update:

    • I’m almost half-way through an AMAZING contract with an AMAZING little company you may have heard of…Google. Here is where (for legality purposes) I emphasize that I am not a Google employee, but a contractor doing some work for them for a specified amount of time. It’s been such a pleasure to work at a company that not only embraces and encourages recess, but is educating me in a fashion I haven’t experienced in some time. I can’t tell you all what exactly I do (again with that legal thing) but it’s pretty cool, and there are mornings when on my drive to work I can’t help but think, “Wow. Is this real life?” And it is. And I love it.
    • My boyfriend and I are looking for a house. What? Seriously? I know, I know. It’s weird to think we have been together for almost 3 years, and there are several couples I know who met and were married in a shorter amount of time than that. Before all my friends get giddy because I wrote the word “married”, hold your horses. This gal isn’t getting hitched anytime soon! Aside from the fact it’s SO expensive to say your I Do’s, we’re just not ready for that step yet. However, since we are planning on moving closer to work (we work at the same place!) and we’re adding a roommate in a couple months, we’ve decided to rent a house. I start sweating at the idea of maintaining the upkeep of a house, but who knows? It could be a fun little adventure.
    • I. GOT. A. KITTEN. He is the cutest damn thing you ever did see, whether or not you agree with me. His name is Korben Dallas Multipaws, he’s 5 months old, and he’s the coolest effing cat ever!! He is the little love of my life and I don’t care who knows. He is a rescue; someone left a little of kittens on the doorstep of my mom’s neighbor, and I got a call asking if I would home one. I think it’s more than obvious what my answer was. 
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    • We’re going on a cruise! It’ll be the first time that we leave the country together, and I am so ready for a grown-up vacation. It’s a 7 day through the Western Caribbean, and even better than that, one of the last days falls on my birthday. Aww yeahhh. Guess this means I need to lose a few pounds…277 Days left!

    Writing all this down, it doesn’t seem like a whollllleeee lot is happening, but as I’ve been working 7 days a week, accomplishing every little thing feels like such a task. That being said, it is time for me to start reuniting with some of my first loves, writing and music. I’m finding that I’m slowly burning myself out at work due to never having time to engulf myself in something creative and freeing. I’m aiming to change this, hopeful it will help me re-energize and power through these next taxing months!


    — 7 months ago
    #personal  #journaling 

    This is the end, if you want it. This is the end.

    — 1 year ago


    Let me tell you a thing, about an amazing man named Patrick Stewart

    I went to Comicpalooza this weekend and I was full of nervous energy as I was standing in line to ask Sir Patrick Stewart a question at his panel. I first had to thank him for a speech he had given at amnesty international about domestic violence towards women . I had only seen it a few months ago but I was still dealing with my own personal experience with a similar issue, and I didn’t know what to call it. After seeing Patrick talk so personally about it I finally was able to correctly call it abuse, in my case sexual abuse that was going to quickly turn into physical abuse as well. I didn’t feel guilty or disgusting anymore. I finally didn’t feel responsible for the abuse that was put upon me. I was finally able to start my healing process and to put that part of my life behind me.

    After thanking him I asked him “Besides acting, what are you most proud of that you have done in you life (that you are willing to share with us)?”. Sir Patrick told us about how he couldn’t protect his mother from abuse in his household growing up and so in her name works with an organization called Refuge for safe houses for women and children to escape from abusive house holds. Sir Patrick Stewart learned only last year that his father had actually been suffering from PTSD after he returned from the military and was never properly treated. In his father’s name he works with an organization called Combat Stress to help those soldiers who are suffering from PTSD.

    They were about to move onto the next question when Sir Patrick looked at me and asked me “My Dear, are you okay?” I said yes, and that I was finally able to move on from that part of my life. He then passionately said that his mother had done nothing to provoke his father and that even if she had, violence was never, ever a choice a man should make. That it is in the power of men to stop violence towards women. The moderator then asked “Do you want a hug?”

    Sir Patrick didn’t even hesitate, he smiled, hopped off the stage and came over to embrace me in a hug. Which he held me there for a long while. He told me “You never have to go through that again, you’re safe now.” I couldn’t stop thanking him. His embrace was so warm and genuine. It was two people, two strangers, supporting and giving love. And when we pulled away he looked strait in my eyes, like he was promising that. He told me to take care. And I will.

    Sir Patrick Stewart is an absolute roll model for men. He is an amazing man and was so kind and full of heart. I want to let everyone know to please find help if you are in a violent or abusive house hold or relationship. There are organizations and people ready to help. I had countless people after the panel thanking me for sharing the story and asking him those questions. Many said they went through similar things. You are not alone.


    ^ Here is the video of my question to Sir Patrick Stewart

    Photos by Eugene Lee, Thank you

    There are so many reasons to love Patrick Stewart, but the kindness, love, and genuine passion he has as a human being is just extraordinary. “You never have to go through that again, you’re safe now.” Just beautiful. 

    (via lemonsweetie)

    — 1 year ago with 68695 notes

    Oh cool I threw out my back. Can’t move or anything but at least I can catch up on my queue.

    — 1 year ago

    My words are raw, ragged at their edges.
    A tongue like blades, and leather skin.
    Tested by Time and her twin Fate.
    I am a hardened soul.

    But callused hands still feel.
    Bruised hearts still beat.
    Sharp words still sting,
    but yours cut deep.

    — 1 year ago

    All I needed was a soft “hello”.

    — 1 year ago

    Lights sings Siberia a capella in Canadian arctic. Maybe it’s because she’s Canadian but this is one of her most charming videos ever. ily <3


    — 1 year ago

    Things that happened today

    1. Saw Star Trek. Fell more in love with Benedict Cumberbatch (it was possible? Apparently. ) 💘

    2. Watched classic Star Trek. Shut up.

    3. Sang Rapunzel’s healing song. At work. Very loudly. 🌹

    4. Sang Thumbalina’s Let Me Be Your Wings. At work. Also loudly. ♬

    5. I managed to RICK ROLL MYSELF 👎

    Productive day.

    — 1 year ago